It sucks.

I just want to be alone. Don't text me. Don't call me. Stop asking me questions. Can't you tell I'm losing it?
Stop telling me you love me. It doesn't help anything, I just feel guilty. Stop telling me you want to help. I don't want to talk about it. I don't know what I want. I can't tell you anything anyway.

I'm tired of part time friends. I'm tired of "Let's hang out." followed up with nothing. I'm tired of high school. I'm tired of being screamed at in the middle of my own house for doing everyday things and being powerless to defend myself. I'm tired of being powerless altogether.

I'm tired of going to school then work then being unable to fall asleep until an hour and a half before I have to get up and do it again. And when I get a minute to catch my breath, I'm tired of being asked to do something else.

Worry less about numbers.

Worry less about age, and more about connection.
Worry less about how much money you have, and more about being happy within your means.
Worry less about test scores, and more about what you've learned.
Worry less about the miles keeping you apart, and more about the bonds that will keep you close.
Worry less about the number of facebook notifications, and more about what each person has to say.

Worry less about getting old, and more about living.

If I seem distant, lately, or upset,

If I seem distant, lately, or upset, it's probably because I am.
It's probably because I've reached my breaking point, I'm done.
It's probably because I've never been so tired of hearing anything as I am of hearing all the reason why it won't work, why it's irrational, why I'm wrong and why it's a waste of my life.
I don't remember asking for your opinion.

It's probably because the person I want to be is standing on the other side of the world, watching me wondering what's taking so long, why is she so frustrated?
It's probably because you're wasting my time and dragging me down.
It's probably because I don't want your advice.

It's probably because I'm depressed, because I cry some nights (maybe most nights) and I feel like I can't do it anymore.
It's probably because I still have to wake up the next morning and tell myself I can, even as you're shoving your petition in my face.
It's probably because I'm lashing out.
It's probably because I'm tired of being told I could be so much more. It's probably because your definition of "more" is my definition of "boring."
It's probably because I'm itching, my eyes are burning and I'm fighting my basest instinct to run like hell.
It's probably because I don't really want to hurt your feelings.

It's probably because I refuse to be chained down.
It's probably because I won't let your expectations change me, or your disappointments cause me to think twice about taking my leap. It's probably because it's my leap to take.
It's probably because  I need help but I'm too stubborn to ask, but I probably wouldn't want help anyway.
It's probably because I'm unhappy in just about every way, and most days it's hard to convince myself I can make it better after all.
It's probably because when I find a way to convince myself, you shoot it right back down.

It's probably because I'm afraid, or because I'm tired of defending you.
It's probably because I don't know how to make you understand.
It's probably because I could care less about my image as you see it.
It's probably because I care more about yours.

It's probably because you laughed when I told you my dream.
It's probably because you acted surprised when you realized I stuck with it.
It's probably because I don't want to worry about you.
It's probably because I can't handle your problems, and mine. Or because I just don't feel like it anymore.

It's probably because I am.



This is as raw as I get.

Here we go.

Talk your shit.
Think you're all cool.
Tell all your friends about me.
And how annoying and immature I am.

I really could care less what you have to say.

But don't for one second think that when the time comes I won't come running at you with the force of all the threats you never intended to follow up on.

And, go to hell.

The poison.

You were so young, I guess I'm old. Open your eyes, I'll keep mine closed.
I prefer standing, you take your seat. I'll be wide awake, you'll be asleep.


We fall down a hole, that's the one place we both know.
You'd take me with you if you could, but I wouldn't go.
I guess that sometimes we both lose our minds to find a better road.


 I can be pin-tough, you can be so sure. you'll be the posion, you'll be the cure.
I'm alone on the journey, I'm alive nonetheless, and when you do your very worst,
mmm, it feels the best.




Look at yourself, look in the mirror, don't you see a lie?
Oh, you tell yourself again a thousand times. The truth that makes us laugh will make you cry. 

Resolutions 2012.

1. Move out.

2. Be a part of something meaningful.

3. Develop a new skill.

4. Bike 20 miles.

5. Learn to ask for help.

6. Take a road trip.

7. Pick a major foreal this time.

8. Stop letting myself be miserable about things I can change.

9. "Clean house."

10. Make a few real friends.

11. Smile a little more. Look on the bright side.

12. Do something crazy that I normally wouldn't dream of.

13. Be less awkward!

That time my horoscope totally changed my outlook on the year to come.

Year 2012 Overview
Scorpio, 2012 is your year of reckoning! You worked yourself to the bone in 2011, and now you've hit a major impasse. You've got until October to continue experimenting with what you want out of life; after that, big decisions must be made. Saturn is about to take up residence in your constellation for the first time in nearly 30 years. This planet rules karma, time and integrity, so each of these will be key themes throughout the year. Your values will be tested during the last quarter of the year, so get all your ducks in a row by then to avoid the stress of Saturn's inquisition. The good news is that a weight is about to be lifted from your consciousness, and all the background melancholy you may have felt over the past few years should lighten up.
A major eclipse pattern takes hold of your stars in autumn 2012. November's total solar eclipse in Scorpio is sure to rock the very foundation of your life, so get ready for some major shifts in your relationships. Your life will definitely not be the same by the time 2013 rolls around. You're a butterfly and a phoenix - expect to shed some major skin this year.
This could also be one of the most socially driven years you've ever seen. With Mars activating your house of friendship and goals in the sign of Virgo, expect a majority of your energy to be engaged with a barrage of social situations. It's all for a good cause, however, and will translate into your bigger life goals; in fact, a good portion of the parties you attend will have some sort of work component behind them. And with glamorous Neptune moving back into your pleasure sector in February, life will suddenly become very art-house cinema for you.

- by Astrology.com
Actual article posted by Yahoo! can be found here!